So You End up Alone; Because That’s All Anyone can Afford.

I want to be “that girl” that everyone wants to be

or to be with

I can’t sever myself from this person I live through

She holds on too tight.

She needs me as much as I need her.

And sometimes

That’s all there is.

I would not share it

Because appreciation isn’t your strong suit.

Yet I’m sure it’s frequented

Even if not understood.

Too much responsibility

For one little vessel of a soul

I’m the biggest faker you’ll ever meet

Because I definitely tell people what they want to hear

Your ears will never bleed on my account.

And maybe the real me is great.

But YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HER.

Because I’m merely who you want me to be

“Let’s work it out”

Because I’m down for whatever.

“I’m sorry”; “I love you.”

Or

Are you sorry? – THAT you love me?

I’ll eat up your lines

To lie to my heart

Though I know it’s not for real

And they wear off fast

It’s what’s real to yourself that shines pure

Don’t let them tell you you’re crazy

It’s like waking up and feeling like your dream really happened

In that second

You believe

That moment has raw emotion

The next time it happens

Observe what it is you care about

Because you may be neglecting it

And once it’s “too late”

Nothing comes back

Absolutes ARE forever

I prefer to live my life in absolutes

The “all or nothing” paradox

So what will YOU order?

All?

Or nothing?

So being this FAKER…

Everyone thinks I’m happy

To the extent that if it gets to be just a little too much

Sharper than my razor

“It” breaks through

And I’m translucent

ANYONE CAN SEE

Only a few seconds to put up a front

To turn back into a wall

But don’t you dare try to break down that barrier.

I’ll have none of it.

I’m too used to feeling wrong.

And awkward.

And self-loathing.

And we should have never made it to “I’m sorry.”

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