The “Love Of My Life” left. He’s nowhere near me anymore. I can’t see him. I can’t reach out for him. I can’t ask him a question. I can’t feel him anymore. I can’t predict what he’ll do (if I ever could), anymore.
I cannot picture the “happily ever after” where he believes I will be an amazing wife and hopefully, Mom.
After five years (actually 4 years and 363 days — what I mean to communicate is it was one day prior to our 5 year Anniversary), “The Love Of My Life” terminated our connection. And I kicked him out.
He won’t be coming home unreasonably late at night anymore (whether I’ve cooked — literally a new thing I do now since he left — or not) just to fall asleep immediately — leaving me to happily take off his socks, etc. and put him under “the covers” exactly as he liked it — asking him if wanted ice for his used and abused ankles, and desperately trying to pull an answer out of him to “How was your day, babe?” before he started snoring.
Despite his snoring and — other homely lovable habits — I am living 100% alone for the first time in my life. And a potential roommate bailed…so possibly, I will have only experienced living alone for this one month and this one month alone, if I cannot find a higher paying job than I currently have offered to me, or literally any other source of funds. That would be terrible, because I made this place my own in 15 days and it looks fucking fantastic, if you must know.
I jump for joy when I look around my “new” apartment. I think it looks FUCKING AMAZING!
But would I trade this new space for “The Love Of My Life,” back?
What do you motherfuckers think?