I promised I’d always be honest here, for you, reader.

The truth is — I am too depressed — and — I’m hating myself too much right now — for so many things — that I’m not capable of putting my shit out there for you to read.

I’m sorry, but.

I’m not okay.

I will live — that’s a promise.

But, I’m not okay.

And I don’t know what to tell you except that I’m miserable enough to have given up on everything I wished for — through my writing — which may mean nothing to anyone — honestly — to the extent that I don’t believe anything good can happen in this world, no matter how hard I try to help others.

I know life’s not fair.

I fucking know that.

But a little sprinkle of appreciation once in awhile would be greatly appreciated and would go a really long way.

If I have to leave this apartment — I’ll likely end up being the person I was when I moved out in the first place. And I guarantee you don’t want to know her.

God speed ya’ll.

Hopefully I check in tomorrow.