New Rules. One: Don’t Pick Up The Phone.

My sister did. About a month or two ago. I called expecting her voicemail. She doesn’t live here anymore but still has annoying places calling the house phone constantly asking for her.

It’s just so much easier making her bad decisions someone else’s problem.

Must run in the family — πŸ™‹

The house we grew up in — and — that I unfortunately am again living in — had been getting phone calls from her pharmacy.

A pharmacy in the town I thought she lived in.

Until today.

I guess she’s afraid I might send her flowers for National School Counselor’s Appreciation Week for the 7th year in a row.

See — I was trying to do the right thing.

Her prescription — for whatever it was — would be disposed of if she didn’t pick it up in the next 5, 4, 3…you get the idea…days.

So after making my Mom breakfast before helping her off to work, I tried to leave my sister a voicemail to let her know.

But she answered.

Caught by surprise and shock, she told me it wasn’t a good time calling me by an old nickname (THE NERVE!!!!! — or old habits πŸ’―), because she was at work.

Having been her SAT bitch for several years, I thought (unless she changed jobs too) she didn’t get cell phone service in the school. We never did.

We never fucking had before.

Her comments that made me feel like shit aside, I relayed the information to her and hung up.

because she downloads all this garbage and keeps passwords or whatever on her phone so the family account keeps getting hacked.

I know my Mom mails my sister her mail because my sister is incapable of collecting it for her[adult]self, although she IS capable of having it sent here.

I know my Mom still deals with my sister’s EZ-Pass despite my sister being incredibly irresponsible with remembering to keep her EZ-Pass with her.

I think my sister is still on our family phone plan but I ALSO think that should change. And the sooner the better, because that’s only caused me excruciating nights on the phone with customer service because she downloads all this garbage and keeps passwords or whatever on her phone so the FAMILY account keeps getting hacked.

I mean — if she can’t sit with the family for a Christmas card, she should definitely get on her new family’s phone plan if she hasn’t already, right?!

It’s just so much easier making her bad decisions someone else’s problem.

Must run in the family — πŸ™‹

ACTUALLY — what I don’t want to say is that it would hurt me if she plopped off the family plan. But that’s irrational. And I can’t control a damn thing she says or does.

And today, I wrote her a nice card, ever TRYING to win my Mother’s impossible to win approval on the matter of my sister. (For the record, my Mom has advised me that she disagrees with the sentiment I express in that prior sentence.) This was before I knew my sister couldn’t stand the idea that I might know what fucking town she lived in, of course.

I keep having this dream in which someone my sister and I both care about — dies — but just like when we went to real life therapy (which she quit and couldn’t or wouldn’t tell me why) she told me I “wasn’t allowed to have PTSD about” the same event she did — and I am expected to suffer silently (!!!!!) — and that’s what happens in the dream.

And EVERYONE supports her in this dream.

And maybe EVERYONE supports her in real life.

Which is why I think she thinks she is so much more enlightened than me.

Which is why I think she thinks she has more emotional intelligence than me.

We’ll see how this plays out.

Anyway — in order to send this card I wrote — I jokingly asked my Mom if my sister’s address was the same or if she had moved for like the 19th time in her life.

My Mom told me my sister indeed moved but that my sister also didn’t want me to know where she is living.

Several shocking things about that information bulb.

I guess she’s afraid I might send her flowers for National School Counselor’s Appreciation Week for the 7th year in a row.

I think that’s sick.

I feel sick.

She gets to know where I live.

For now.

Until I don’t.

Not that she’d be there.

See what I did there? I acted out because I’m hurt. We all learned something.

🎢β™₯️✌️

Editorial response to an anonymous query: Yes, my Mom knows about this post, and yes, I did read it to her.

🎢β™₯️✌️

4 thoughts on “New Rules. One: Don’t Pick Up The Phone.

  1. Ah, family. Where exactly is that ABC afterschool special life they told us we could all have? I empathize and sympathize. I appreciate the guts (and anger) it takes to write a piece like this one.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It means a LOT to me that you had the guts to comment on my post, which I appreciate you reading, by the way 🎢β™₯️✌️! Because you can empathize and sympathize — right back at you! I promised myself I would ALWAYS be incredibly honest in this blog which sometimes means showing a side of myself I’m not necessarily proud of — and has had the effect of me writing less. BUT — not owning my shit — is exhausting. I am getting braver by the session about judgment and how it crushes us, yet is inevitable. I apologize for getting sidetracked in responding to your comment — but if I’m reading your comment correctly, I agree that I totally bought whatever the “theys” were selling as I grew up — and it sucks. Thank you again for reading and for commenting!!! 🎢β™₯️✌️

      Liked by 2 people

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